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Monday, September 22, 2008

Adam's Journal Entry

Adam had a very eventful night last night. This is an excerpt from his journal.

21 September 2008 9:01 PM St. Charles, MO

Ok. You are not going to believe what happened. So I go over to this family's house for dinner. They are this super nice family in the ward. They’ve had all of us summer sales kids over before. She makes this delicious roast. Mine is covered in gravy. I cut off a huge chunk and put in my mouth. I chew. It turns out I had cut off a big piece of fat and hard meat. (I didn’t know…it was covered in gravy.) I think, “Shoot, there is no way I can spit this out on my plate. That would be so sick.” So I just swallow it down. I chase it with a little water. My throat then starts making this very loud grumbling noise as air escapes back up and out. Of course the cup is still to my mouth and so my strange quasi-burp gets amplified and echoed. I keep making the noise…uncontrollably. The kids are looking at me; the parents are pretending not to hear me. Then I start choking a little. I lean over my plate. The mom yells, “Are you ok? Can you breathe!?” I shake my head. The dad stands up, comes behind me, and starts doing the Heimlich maneuver! I lean over and throw up water all over my plate and the table! Family dinner…done. I finish exuding fluid, look up and say, “That was really disgusting, I’m really sorry.” Of course they are so nice and tell me not to worry about it. The children, not knowing how to properly respond to someone throwing up all over their dinner table, just stare in disbelief. I stand up again and feel like I’m going to gag. I ask to use their bathroom. To my dismay I discover the pesky portion of roast still lodged in my pipe! Knowing that they had prepared dessert, I figured it best to try and dislodge the fiendish beef piece, so as to avoid further awkwardness in having to explain that their meat, still blocking my esophagus, would prevent the further consumption of any food for the evening. “But you guys go on ahead.” So after about 25-30 minutes of making awful heaving noises in their bathroom, I walked back into their kitchen, ready and cleared for cake! Wow.

I think my favorite part of the story is when Adam went home later and researched the Heimlich, and realized that he wasn't even given the Heimlich properly. I'll have a bunch of posts coming up this week, since I have been M.I.A. lately!


Amberlie and Anthony said...

LOL, LOL. Adam told us that story and at first I felt so bad but the more he talks about it I can't help but laugh. Yes I did get those pictures you sent, thank you so much, but for some reason I can't save them to this computer, I will figure something out. Lets play when I get home!

Erika said...

OH MY!!! I cannot believe that this really happened!! who actually really chokes!! those poor kids will never eat roast again! I love that this was taken straight from his journal entry, it makes it soo much better! Thanks for making my night!! haha! JJ and I can't stop laughing!!

Jay said...

As your sister Adam, I was horrified at myself for laughing through the entire story. Althoug I'm sure you were sincerely scared there for a minute or so, it is a truly hilarious picture you painted. And being a Webb, I appreciate it all the more. : )

Glad you're alive.


Exteena said...

I couldn't help but laugh just because I mean it sounded like something adam webb would do. I mean he gets his car stolen all the time, chokes on pieces of fat....its just so typical of him. I'm just waiting to see what else will happen to the kid, these things just plague him. haha

Angie said...

That is seriously my worst fear. Not the choking/not being able to breath/dying part. I mean the part about almost not being able to force down dessert. That must have been such a scare.

Oh, and btw- we are finally getting a bed tomorrow! I'm tempted to have a air-mattress-popping-ceremony in celebration of our new status as R.B.S.P. (real bed sleeping people.)